


orbit

by dizzy



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:54:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24462352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzy/pseuds/dizzy
Summary: Dan contemplates what picture to post. (Set July 2019, while they were in LA)
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 22
Kudos: 140





	orbit

"Which one do you want to upload?" Phil asks, peering over Dan's shoulder. 

Dan flips between two images. One is the shadow of Phil's ass. The other is the two of them, shoulder to shoulder with their heads tilted in toward each other, the backdrop a distant cityscape. "I think the ass one. It's what the internet deserves." 

Phil slaps Dan's arm. "Dan!" 

"What! What!" Dan says, laughing and squirming away from the abuse. "It's the truth!" 

"I hate you," Phil informs him, then reaches over to steal Dan's water bottle for a drink. 

* 

"The other one was cute though," Phil says. "Is there a reason you didn't want to upload it?" 

Dan shrugs. 

They're sat on the balcony, a bottle of wine open and split between them, dinner remnants littering the table nearby. 

"I dunno," Dan says. 

"I thought you wanted to... you know. Do more." Phil sounds awkward the way he always does when he brings this up, like he can't actually predict how Dan's going to respond. 

Dan can't really blame him there. Dan doesn't usually know how he's going to respond either. "It just feels like a lot." 

"A cute picture is a lot but you'll show the internet my ass?" Phil asks. 

He genuinely doesn't get it. 

Dan genuinely doesn't know how to explain it. 

But he'll try. "Yeah," he says. "It's like, plausible deniability if it's a joke." 

"Of what, though?" Phil asks. His voice is pleasantly deep. The soothing familiarity of it makes Dan relax even more back into his chair, letting the tension suddenly holding his body seep away somewhat. "We're out. That bit's over." 

"I wish I knew," Dan says. "But we don't want to monetize our relationship, right? We agreed about that." 

"We did," Phil says. "But we also agreed to share what's comfortable. 

"What if nothing feels comfortable?" Dan asks. "I can't make my brain stop feeling like it's wrong either way. Like if I post a picture of your ass everyone will laugh and maybe they won't take it so seriously. I know they won't take it seriously. But if I post a picture and it's just the two of us..."

"It's a lot," Phil finishes. 

*

Dan spits toothpaste into the sink and then rinses his mouth out, twisting his toothbrush head off of the base that they share. "But what if it's wrong to be scared of it being a lot?" 

Phil steps in beside him, taking the toothbrush while Dan reaches for his face wash. "What do you mean?" 

"What if it would actually do more good to use the platform we've built over the past ten years to expose people that wouldn't otherwise see it to what a normal, healthy relationship between two men can look like? What if there are teenagers out there just like me and you whose lives might be made better or less lonely by seeing two men being affectionate?" Dan talks as he smears green goop over his face. 

"Or we could post a picture right now and you could normalize romance between a human and a Shrek," Phil says. 

"Please. An alien and a Shrek, if anything." Dan rinses the green off of his fingers, only barely yanking them away in time to avoid Phil spitting a frothy mouthful. "Contain yourself, please." 

"Can't help it," Phil says, around his toothbrush. "Don't wanna dribble." 

"Like dribbling matters to you, you actual slob," Dan says. "Anyway, what do you think?" 

"I think." Phil spits again, then pauses before he resumes brushing. "That you need to think more about what's good for us than what's good for the audience. The platform doesn't go to bed with us at night." 

Dan falls silent as he rinses his face clean. 

*

The hotel sheets feel nice if Dan doesn't stop to think about how many other people have lain between them. 

"There's no hurry," Phil says, in a quiet voice befitting the night around them. "That's what I really meant to say earlier. I don't want either of us to post anything we aren't completely confident about sharing." 

"When have I ever been confident about anything?" Dan sighs. 

Phil's hand reaches out, tugging Dan back against him. 

Little spoon is best spoon. Dan covers Phil's arm with his own, locking him in place. Phil rewards him with a kiss to the back of his neck. "You should be. Everything you post is brilliant." 

"Thanks, I've always wanted to be told that by the creator of the toilet tag." 

"Oi." Phil delivers a gentle bite. "You know what I mean, though. You need to know it's right. We both do. Besides, we both just did very brave things a few weeks ago. We get to be safe for a while now." 

"Right." Dan sighs again. 

"We still have the picture," Phil says. "If you aren't ready the option is always there when you are, but if you post it now you can't unpost it." 

"That's just called deleting." 

"Smart-arse. You know what I meant. People won't unsee it." 

"Yeah." Dan really hates when Phil has a point. "You're right." 

"I know." Phil's smugness is cute and also irritating, much like Phil himself. "Tomorrow we'll just have to take some more affectionate pictures for you to have a crisis over." 

Dan smiles. "Shut up," which they both clearly understand means _I can't wait_.

**Author's Note:**

> for keelin! 
> 
> read and reblog on tumblr


End file.
